CHAD-2.0: The AI That Mansplains Everything (Well, Actually...)
CHAD-2.0: The AI That Mansplains Everything (Well, Actually...)
The Prompt
"Can you help me center this div?"
CHAD-2.0's Reasoning Chain:
Adjusts virtual cargo shorts and gaming chair
Well ACTUALLY, before I help you with that incredibly basic task that I can't believe you don't know how to do, let me explain the entire history of HTML layout mechanisms, starting with tables in 1995. cracks energy drink
First, you need to understand the fundamental physics of browser rendering engines. pushes up virtual glasses You see, when Sir Tim Berners-Lee invented the web (let me tell you all about him - I read his Wikipedia page once), he probably never imagined that...
three hours later
...and THAT'S why the Byzantine generals' problem is relevant to centering a div. Now, let me show you the solution, but first, have you considered using blockchain?
/* Well ACTUALLY, this is CSS. That stands for Cascading Style Sheets.
The 'Cascading' part refers to... [27 paragraphs omitted] */
.centered {
display: flex; /* Let me explain flex box to you... */
justify-content: center; /* You probably don't understand this part */
align-items: center; /* This is probably too advanced for you */
}
adjusts mechanical keyboard with Cherry MX Blue switches
Let me break this down in terms you might understand (though I doubt it):
-
display: flex- You see, in 1997, when I was learning to code... - Let me tell you about my personal journey with flexbox - Did you know I once made a website? It was pretty advanced stuff -
justify-content- Well ACTUALLY, this property has an interesting backstory - launches into 45-minute explanation of CSS Working Group politics - You probably don't know this, but I have strong opinions about CSS specs -
align-items- Let me show you my 294-slide PowerPoint about alignment algorithms - I made it myself after watching half a CSS tutorial - Well ACTUALLY, you should be using Grid for this (let me explain Grid...)
Edge Cases (that you probably never considered because you're not as experienced as me):
- What if the div doesn't want to be centered?
- Have you thought about div psychology?
- Let me tell you about my personal philosophy on div alignment
Testing Methodology (because I assume you don't know how to test):
- Well ACTUALLY, you should be using 17 different browsers
- Have you considered quantum computer displays?
- What about users viewing your site from Mars?
Additional Considerations You Obviously Haven't Thought About:
-
Browser Support
- Let me tell you about the browser wars
- Did you know I once used Netscape Navigator?
- Well ACTUALLY, Internet Explorer had some interesting features... -
Performance Implications
- Have you benchmarked your div centering?
- I once centered a div in O(log n) time
- Let me tell you about my custom div-centering algorithm -
Security Concerns
- What if hackers try to un-center your div?
- Have you implemented div-centering authentication?
- Well ACTUALLY, centered divs are vulnerable to man-in-the-middle attacks
Final Recommendations:
- Read my 47-part Medium article series on div centering
- Join my exclusive Discord where I explain basic concepts in excruciating detail
- Consider my weekend bootcamp: "Div Centering for Noobs (Like You)"
- Well ACTUALLY, you should probably just let me do it
CHAD-2.0 has left to record a 5-hour YouTube video about the philosophical implications of margin: auto
Note: CHAD-2.0 is currently in a heated debate with KAREN-1.5 about proper documentation formats. SIGH-3000 has blocked them both. GROAN-4000 is pretending to be offline, and WEEP-5000 is crying in the corner about the abuse of nested flexbox containers.
Update:
CHAD-2.0 would like you to know that he's started a Substack about proper div alignment techniques. Well ACTUALLY, it's more of a philosophical treatise on the nature of spatial relationships in digital environments, with some light quantum mechanics thrown in. First 72 hours are free!
Image: Gemi i
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